If only you knew
by xcarcinoGeneticistx
Summary: pain, crying, self-harm, that's all anything has to offer anymore... will become romantic if i continue the story, i don't know if i will rated-t for cutting. story will also be posted on my deviantart,
1. Chapter 1

Your name is Sollux Captor. You've been really depressed and cutting yourself for about two sweeps now. You've even attempted suicide, but before you can someone walks in and you rush out of the room hiding the evidence, no-one seemed to care that you were acting so strange, maybe they wouldn't care if you were dead either. You hide it from everyone because you are really scared of what people would do if they found out. _Would they hug me? Beat me up? Insult me? Try to make me talk about it? _You honestly don't know, but you don't want to find out either. It's best to keep this a secret for as long as you can.

Today is Monday. Dear gog you hate Mondays, it means you have to wake up early for the next four days afterwards and deal with people's bullshit for about six hours each of those other four days. You and your troll friends have been living here on earth for half a sweep now, so that means you have to go to school like the humans your age. You decide to stay home today; one more day away from hell won't hurt anyone.

You wake up really late in the day, around 2 p.m. but you don't really care. You crawl under your bed and bring back out a blood-stained knife. You sit on your knees in the middle of the room and place the blade on your arm. You pierce your skin lightly but not so light that there was not blood oozing. You go deeper and start on another in the same general area, cutting just as deep maybe even deeper. Your gold blood pours quickly from your veins causing you to be very dizzy. You place the knife back under the bed and sit in the corner of the room bracing for unconsciousness to hit him any second.


	2. Chapter 2

You slowly start to wake back up. You see your yellow-gold blood all over your arm and your clothes. You sigh and walk into the bathroom. You wash all the blood off and bandage your arm. You pull your shirt off and wash the blood off too. You walk back into your room and throw your shirt in the corner of the room where you put all your dirty clothes. You slide open your dresser and grab another black t-shirt with a yellow Gemini symbol on it. You place it on the top of the dresser and grab a long sleeve black shirt. You put on the long sleeve then your t-shirt. You always dress like this when you cut so people don't notice.

It's pretty dark out so you decide to take a walk. As you're walking down the street you spot Karkat. _How about I try to prank him? That would be funny as hell._ You smirk at the thought. So you follow Karkat a few blocks and see him start to walk in his hive. _I've got the best idea._ You walk across the street to a construction store. As you walk around the store you finally find what you have been looking for. A large bucket. You also grab a large jar of purple paint the same shade as Gamzee's blood. Once you pay for the supplies you walk over to Karkat's hive and prepare outside the door. You pour the purple paint in the bucket leaving it about half way full and slightly open Karkat's door. He's not in sight range so you quickly place the bucket over the door and carefully get out without triggering the trap. _Hehehe._ You ring the door-bell and jump into the bush next to the door making sure you are hidden.

"Who the fuck could that be?!" Karkat yells as he opens the door.

As he opens the door the bucket falls on his head and the purple paint gets all over him.

"What the fuck?!" Karkat yells as he takes the bucket off. Karkat gasps as he realizes it's a bucket.

"Gamzee you are so fucking dead!" he shouts as he runs back in the house.

After trying not to laugh your ass off you run back to your hive as fast as you can before Karkat finds out it was you. Once you get in you collapse on the floor and laugh your ass off for a few minutes. _That was hilarious! I've got to do this kind of stuff more!_

When you calm down you walk to your block and turn on your husktop. You had put a camera in Karkat's house a long time ago so you open the software and start to watch what was going down. Karkat was yelling at Gamzee while he was still covered in paint.

"What the fuck were you thinking by filling a bucket and putting it on the door?! You should have known this was going to happen! I can't believe you! This is the most disgusting thing you have ever done! Its even worse than that time you showed me what a blue waffle was! And when you showed me that I couldn't sleep for a week! Are you purposely trying to scar me for life?! You are fucking disgusting! Your hobbies are fucking disgusting! And everything about you is fucking disgusting! How do I even put up with a moirail like you?!"

You eventually turn off the husktop because you know that all its gonna be for the next hour is Karkat yelling. Honestly you think that Karkat deserved that bucket because he acts like an asshole to you a lot.

You pull out your knife again and cut your other arm, not as deep though because you don't want to be passed out most of the day again. You make three long cuts and hiss in pain each time the blade pierced your skin. Once you finish you quickly bandage your arm and go to sleep.

**AN: This'll make more sense in later chapter(s)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Some Solkat in here, enjoy~**

"Dude wake up"

'_Huh? What?'_

"Sollux wake the fuck up!"

You look up from your desk and see Karkat yelling at you.

"Finally you're awake. You fell asleep in class. We've been trying to wake you up for a while, fuckass"

You cross your arms on the table and lay your head down.

"Sorry, I was tired"

"Shut up fucktard, I don't fucking care"

You roll your eyes and look at the projector screen. The teacher was talking about book reports or something. You honestly don't know because you don't care enough to listen.

Once everyone is heading out of class you look for Karkat. He may act like a douche most of the time but he is your best friend. When you see Karkat you yell to him.

"Hey KK, wait up!"

Karkat turns around looking at you and crosses his arms.

"The fuck do you want?"

You run up next to him and give him a slight smile.

"So do you maybe want to hang out later?"

"I guess. Be at my place at 6."

"Alright"

"Well seeya later" Karkat says as he walks away. With that said you walked in the opposite direction to your next class.

The school day is finally over and you are heading home. It is raining like hell just blew up. The rain is soaking through your shirt and your hair is dripping with water. You start to run to your hive and you are covering your head with your arms as you run. You run in your hive and up to your block. Your block is soaking now because of you. You grab dry clothes from your dresser and change. You glance at the clock 3:17 p.m. You sigh and plop down in your bed only to fall asleep.

As you start to wake up you notice it is 5:23. You drag yourself off the bed and grab your blood stained knife. You sit on your knees in the middle of the room, pull up your sleeves and remove the bloody bandages. As you gaze upon the cuts you find a clear spot then pierce the blade into your skin and drag it across your arm. You let out a slight hiss of pain and continue on a second cut. You keep this up till both arms have six new cuts then you wrap your arms up again. You glance at your clock and sigh. 5:53.

When you walk outside you see the sky has already turned black. You place your hands in your pockets and walk down the block. You finally get to Karkat's and just as your about to knock on the door you hear yelling.

"I said get out!" Karkat yells as he opens the door. You move aside and Gamzee comes running out. As quick as you saw him he was gone.

"Uhhh…."

"Oh Sollux you're here, come on in"

You and Karkat walk in and sit on the couch. Karkat looks over at you and gives a small smile as he scoots right against you. He puts an arm around your waist and pulls you close. He uses his free hand and grabs yours latching your fingers together. You look down at him as he leans up and kisses you. You're both blushing. Karkat giggles and whispers in your ear.

"I love you"

You smile at him and kiss him back.

"I love you too"

As soon as Karkat heard that he grinned and nuzzled his face into your chest. You lay your head on the couch arm and pulled Karkat up on you then wrap your arms around him. Karkat lets out a soft purr and hugs you tight.

"KK~ You're purring~"

"Shut up, fuckass" he says as he kisses you again. He wraps his arms around your neck and lays his head on you. You and Karkat soon fall asleep cuddling eachother.


End file.
